HIS CHAPTERS 12-21
ch 12 da game
mi an hary pottr were da onli ppl on da ravencow teem. all da odda teems was flyin arond trin to put dere balls in r hols. an da kluklanklan wuz shootin up at us.
"hary u gard da goals. ill lok 4 da snigger" i sed.
i flu up high on mi dragen. "GET DAT NIGGA" sed a griffendor. "NOT B4 I PUT A BAL IN UR HOL" sed a slithrin. "ILL BEET U BOT" sed a hufflypuff. den he fell down. he wuz accidently shot bi da klukluxklan.
i wuz fliin up in da air lokin 4 da snikker. den i saw vadermort. "die" he sed buit i flew out of da way. instead he hit a griffindoor an he esploded.
"U MISSD MI" i sed an went bak 2 lokin 4 da snigger. "die" sed vadermort again. den he missd an hit a death eater an he died.
i wuz fliin an vadermort wuz chasin mi. den i saw... draco!!1 an he saw mi. "now die soulja spirit buu jackson!!1" an he pulld out his gun. an he shooted mi but i got out of da way an instead he hit... VADERMORT!!11
"AHHHHHH" sed vadermort. den vadermort pointed his wand at draco an his brom esploded an he fel in2 da klukluxklan but dey didnt hurt him cuz he was wite.
"ah ha" sed vadermort. he had fond da snigger. i lokd dwon. da snigger wuz in da middle of da feeld.. right in da middle of... DA KLUXKLUXKLAN.
he wuz divin 2ward it and so did i. dere was bodis all ova da feeld. da klukluxklan wuz shotin up.
"u cant let da klukluxklan get da snigger" sed hary potta "or dey win da gaem!!1111"
da klukluxklan wasnt shotin at vadermort. he wuz wite. dey wuz shotin at me but dey kept missin an hittin everibody else!!11
"hey lok deres da snigger!!1" sed da klukluxklanman an started runin 2ward it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!11111111111111111111111111111" i sed
"yes" sed vadermort as da klukluxklan man put his hand on da snigger.
but da ball went throo da klukluxklansmans hand. den i reelised... dey werent da klukluxklan... DEY WERE GHOSTS!!111111
"u fools!!1" sed vadermort.
bcuz dey were gosts i flew thro dem an got da snigger. but dey shot up mi dragen. an it died.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111" sed vadermort.
den da buzza sonded. da game wuz ova. "U WIN" sed da dumbledoor.
"u may haff won this tim... BUT NOT 4 LONG!!11111111" sed vadermort. den he pointed his wand at harry. "die" he sed. harry esploded. he fell off his bromstik.
"QUIK GET DA DOKTA" but bi da tim we got dere hge was alredy ded.
"haha sed vadermort and him an his detheaters flew away.
--
ch 13 dat meen bitch
"U WON DA CHAMPIONSHIP!!1111" sed herman.
"good job" sed da dumbledoor.
"weres draco?" sed herman
"o he almost died" sed da dumbledoor. "but da best part is every1 on da sliteryn teem died!!"
"we shud celebrate" sed herman an she startd kissin up on mi.
"i no maybi we cud go 2 a fancy restrant" i sed.
"rly" sed herman.
"ya we can go 2 applebees!!11" i sed.
den she huggd mi an started kissin up on me even more.
dat nite i desided 2 do somden speshal. it wuz r first date. so i took a shower. i put on ma best cothes.
i took herman 2 applebees.
"dis is amazin!!" she sed.
we sat down an dis fancy french guy cam 2 us an sed "wuts yo order" he sed.
"ill get a cowboy burger" i sed "wit friez n onions"
"ok an wut wud u lik missy?" he sed.
"ill hav a salad an sum water"
"ok" he sed an den he went away 2 get r food
but den... hu walkd in... BUT DRACO!!111 an he sat down bside herman.
"watta u doin!!1" i sed
"noddin" sed draco lookin arund all sneekily an den he walkd away.
den da fancy french guy brot r food an we eatted it.
den we went bak 2 hogwats an she tok off her cloze an got in mah bed.
i wuz about 2 put mi big blak cock in her tiny wite ass but den i realisd... dere wuz somebody already in dere!!
den i turnd on da lite. herman wuz havin sex wit draco!!1111
"U MEEN BITCH" i sed.
"wait dont leef me!!" she sed but i wuz alredy up an out of da room.
AN: thx 4 all da gud reviewz!!111
--
ch 14 da evil lair
AN: dis chapta wuz brot 2 u by da AFCA. da americin fried chikin associashun.
"wut r we gonna do about dat nigga" sed vadermort. he wuz sittin in his evil lair havin dinna wit dracula an hitler. dey were eatin babies.
"i say we kill him!!" sed dracula
"gutantof gutantof chocolate choclate gutantof" sed hitler wich wuz german 4 "i agree we shud kill him"
"ive tried dat u fool!!" sed vadermort "hes such a great blak magicon dat he keeps cumming bak 2 life"
dracula tok a bit of his baby. "den how r we gonna kill dat nigga"
"i dont know" sed vadermort. den hitler screemed.
"KINDERGAREN" he sed wich wuz german 4 "deres sumden rong wit mi baby"
den dracula lookd ova "wait dat isnt a baby... dis is fried chiknin!!11"
den vadermort had an idea.
"i no" he sed. "ill go bak in time an make sure dat FRIED CHIKIN WUZ NEVER INVENTED!!111"
"daz a good idea" sed dracula an hitler clappin dere hands.
dracula finished his meel. "my my wut an enjoyable meel" he sed dabbing da sides of his cape.
den vadermort starded speekin "by tomorrow everythin in hogwart is gonna BE ALL WHITE!!1111111"
AN: ohhh dat wuz scarry... i wundda wuts gonna happen next!!11
--
ch 15 cryin
it wuz nittime. i wuz sittin under a tree cryin. dat meen bitch herman wuz cheetin on me wit draco.
"dat meen bitch" i sed cryin. why wuz she cheetin on me. i didnt no.
just den... from behind a tree... i saw a memba of DA KLUKLUXKLAN!!111111111111111111
he wuz wakkin 2wards me. i reechd 4 my wand. but i didnthave it cuz da police took it away when i was in jail.
"nooooo dont hurt me" i sed but he kept commin.
he reeched out his hand. an his hand went throo me.
it wasnt a memba of da klukluxklan... IT WUZ A GOST!!1111
"hey turtle wutchu doin all da way out heer" sed da gost. den i reelised... it wuz da ghost of HARRY POTTRE!!11111
"hary!! ur a ghost!!" i sed.
"i no. dat evil jew vadermort killed me" he sed. "why u out heer turtle"
"dat meen bitch herman cheeted on me wit draco"
"dat meen bitch. but dont worry turtle. dere are odder girls. ur da sexiest blak man ever"
"rly" i sed
"rly" he sed. "well lets go 2 sleep. we hve class 2morrow."
so we went 2 r room an went 2 sleep.
AN: u thot hary potter wuz gone... but i triked u!!111
--
ch 16 da next day
afta we had brekfest we went 2 class. me ghost harry were sittin next 2 eachodder while da teacher wuz teachin.
den... dat meen bitch herman came in. she tried 2 sit next to me but she almost sat on ghost harry,
"HEY" i sed "herry's sittin dere!!1"
"sorry" she sed and den went 2 go sit somewhere else.
in class we lernd how 2 grow flowers with magik. i cudnt do it well bcuz i had no wand
an den class ended.
den dis old man came up 2 me. "i rememba u"
"wut" i sed
"yeh i remember you" he sed
"ok" i sed. den we went 2 lunch.
so we sat down at da table. i was rly hungry 4 sum fried chikin. but dere was none on da table.
"ill have to fix dat" i sed "fried chikin" but noddin happend. "fried chikin" i sed agin, but noddin happend. den i turned 2 magik jonson who wuz sittin across from mi.
"wheres all da fried chikin" i sed.
"fired chikin?" he sed "wuz dat?"
"u no fried chikin" i sed.
"iv never herd of it" he sed.
den i started 2 get scared.
"OH MY GOD" sed ghost harry "VADERMORT MUST HAVE GONBE BACK IN TIME TO MAKE IT SO DAT FRIED CHIKIN WUZ NEVER INVENTED!!111111111111111"
"daz terrible!!" i sed " life wont b da same witout fried chikin!!1 an i cant use magic anymore!!"
"u cant use magik animore?!" sed magik jonson "den you haff 2 get da hell out of dis skool!!11111"
but we cudnt leev yet. we had one more class...
-
ch 17 dark magik
we went into snapes class. he toaut da dark arts. not dark as is blak, bcuz dat was magik jonson. dark as in evil.
i knew dat snape wuz vadermort an wut he had done so we were lookin all angry like at eachodder all class.
"i went bak in time an made sure fried chikin wuznt invented. now u have no magic powers. den all cum up 2 ur room 2night and kill u!!111111111"
i cudnt do magik so all class i talkd wit ghost harry.
as i wuz goin to mi room i saw herman an draco lovin up on eachodder. i got rly mad.
den snape came out of his class. "dracula, wat are you doing" he sed.
"WUT!!1" i sed.
"VADERMORT U FOOL" sed draco
"oops" sed snape.
den i saw it... draco wuz short 4... DRACULA!!111111
"wut!!11" sed herman "ur a vampire?!1"
"DAM" sed dracula
den filtch came in wit his cat sweepin da floors. he turned 2 snape "irchskinveikshin"
"hitler! weve gotta get out of here!!1" sed snape
snape took a dolla bill out of his pocket and it grew 2 da size of a carpet.
"EVERYBODY! QUICK! BACK 2 DA LAIR!!11" sed vadermort. den snape, flitch and draco jumped on it and flew away.
--
ch 18 bak at da lair
"U BLEW MI COVA VADERMORT!!111" sed dracula. dey were all sittin at da table. vadermort dracula hitler and wolfman.
"wen r da fried babis gonna' get heer!?" sed wolfman.
"enuff chit chat" sed vadermort "i wud like 2 introduce 2 u our most sincer member an da founder of dis organisashun... da deevil."
a death eater rolled in a crinkled old man in a wheel chair.
"i heer dat u boys have been havin trouble killin dis nigga" sed da devil.
"yes" sed vadermort "weve killd him... tried 2 beet him at bromstiks... we dont no wut 2 do!!11"
"well deres more den 1 way 2 kill a nigger" sed devil. "in mi day we killd niggers all da time."
"but we have a plan. we went bak in time an made it so dat fried chikin wuz never invented. now he cant use magik. niw all we have to do is kill him 2nite."
"well dis is wut u do..." sed da devil...
--
ch 19 goodbye
i wuz packin mi stuff 2 get ready to leef. an ghost harry wuz helpin mi.
"im gonna miss u turtle" sed ghost harry.
"im gonna miss u too ghost harry" i sed.
so i picked up mi suitcase and wnet 2 da gates.
"goodbye" i sed.
den... da gate esploded an vadermort flu in on his dolla bill wit hitler wolfman an dracula!! and there army of detheaters!!111
"GET DAT NIGGA" he sed an dey all started attak me. dey took out dere guns and dere magik wands and started 2 shoot magik an bullets at mi. but i cudnt fite bak bcuz i cudnt use magik an hary cudnt fite bcuz he wuz a gost.
dracula flew through da air an jumpped on me. "HOW DO U LIKE DA TASTE OF DIS NIGGA" he se an was about to bite my neck. den... HE WUZ KNOCKED OFF BY A FLYING PINK VACUMCLEANER!!1111
it wuz.. HERMAN!!1111 "TAK DAT MUTHAFUKA" she sed.
"noooo dere gonna soot u!!1" i sed an wolfman 2ward her as da detheaters started 2 shoot at her.
den he wuz shot down bi bullets. da dumbledor wuz standing wit a gatling gun in his hands!!11
"WHAT" sed vadermort. an da dumbledoor shot him off his dolla bill.
"I THOT WE CUDNT BRING GUNS 2 SKOOL" sed harypotter.
"teechers can" sed da dukbledoor.
he thru me a gun.
"guns dont use magik" he sed.
den we all started 2 fite da detheatters.
da dumbledoor shot down da first row wit his gatling gun. "TAKE DAT BITCHES" he sed.
"URCHKIN FURTIVATIN" sed hitler an took out his RPG lancher an started firen. dey were esplodin everywere.
"DUUUUUUUCK!!11111111111111" sed da dumbledoor an we jumped bhind a wall.
we were all firn at dem an dey were firn at us. dere wuz soooo many of dem!!1111
den da dumbledoor took a remote control an hit a button.
dere wuz an esploshun in da middle of da detheaters. wolfman howled in pain.
"wut wuz dat?" i sed.
"i put remotecontrol landmines aaaaaallllll over hogwarts incase someden like dis hapined." sed da dumbledoor.
"no my patronis!!1" sed herman.
dracula wuz holdin on 2 da flyin pink vacumcleener and da detheaters wuz trin 2 shot it down.
"wait weres harry?!" i sed.
he wuz in da middle of da detheaters but dey cudnt hurt him bcuz he wuz a ghost an he wuz now wite.
d dumbledoor hit 2 more buttens. da entire bak of da detheaters esploded. dracula wuz thrown off da vacumcleener.
da vacumcleener flew bak. it had a hole in da bag.
"nooooooo!!11" sed herman and she took out her sewing kit 2 fix it.
a bullet hit da ground bside me. dere were 30 guys on da roof bhind us!! i took my gun an shot dem all down.
"tanks" sed da dumbledoor an kept shotin wit his gatlingun. vadermrot wuz trin 2 get away.
"OH HELL NO" i sed an ran out from bhind da wall shootin at vadermort.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!11111111" sed herman but she was 2 busy sewing 2 do anyting.
i wuz dogin all da bullets an shootin da detheatrs an shootin vadermort.
"good now ive got u" sed da devil.
den i turned around an saw da devil flyin around in his wheelchair.
"TAKE DIS" he sed an a door came out of nowere in front of me. he opened it an 2 detheaters grabbed me. inside da door wuz... HELL(sorry 4 da dirty laguig)!!11111111111111111
"NOOOO DERE GONNA PUT U IN HELL BCUZ IF U WENT 2 HEVEN GOD WUD SEND U BAK BUT IF U WENT 2 HELL YOU WOULD NEVA COME BAK!!11111111111111111111111" sed harry.
"lololololololololololololololololololololololol" sed da devil evilly.
den out of nowere a basketball came an hit satan out of his chair. it esploded in2 a blak hole!! it sucked up da devils chair an da 2 detheaters holdin me.
"am i late?" sed magik jonson.
"ABOUT TIME NIGGER" sed da dumbledoor an hit 2 more buttons. dey blew up somemore detheaters.
"well take it from here" sed magik jonson "u kids get out of here"
so me an herman jumped on da pink vacumcleener an flew away.
"WAIT 4 ME" sed harry.
"YOUR A GHOST U CAN FLY" i sed.
"OH YEAH" sed harry an flew up wit us.
we were goin 2 da only place we knew. shieqwans apartment.
--
ch 20.. da aqartment
"dere it is" i sed pointing at sheiqwazs apartment.
we flew thru da window. glass went everywere. sheiqwaz wuz eatin KFC wit his griffin and wtachin soulplane
"nigga wutchu doin? deres glass on my floor!!!111" he sed.
"vadermort took away my powers an da devil tried to kill me and put me in hell" i sed.
"daz awful" sed sheiqwaz.
hermon wuz vacumin up da brokin glass.
"how did he take ur powers" he sed.
"he went back in time an uninvented fried chikin" i sed
"fried chikin? wuz dat?" he sed.
"nigga arent u eatin KFC" i sed
"KFC doesnt make fried chikin" he sed.
"we need ur help" sed herman.
"ok ill help u go bak in time" he sed.
den he got out a clock.
"since u dont dont have magik ull need these" he sed. he took out a bigass gun. "an some of des" and he gave me sum grenades.
i tok dem.
"i want 2 go bak in time 2" sed herman.
"oh u dont want 2 go bak in time" he sed "dey dont have pretty dresses or makeup or sewin mashines bak den"
"ur rite i dont want 2 go" sed herman
he put da clock in front of me.
"ill send u bak in time 10 thousen years ago"
den he stared to move da hands bakwards an i stared to fall in2 1 of dos tunnels wit clocks flyin around"
i fell out in hogwarts. alot of tings looked differant. den... sum cracker hit my shoulder as he passed by. he had long hair and a berd.
"who do u tink u are" i sed. den he turned around.
"hi im jesus" he sed.
--
21 my new frend
AN: my precher told me all da jesus stories an wrote down da names 4 me so i cud use dem in my story. da following is a true story.
I was so amazed i wuz gonna pee myself... jesus... WAS WHITE!!!!!!!11
"oh my god" i sed.
"hey hey hey dont talk abot my dad dat way" he sed
"im sorry" i sed
"i havent seen u b4. were r u from" he sed
"im from the future and ive cum 2 da past 2 invent fried chikin" i sed
"fried chikin" he sed "wuts that"
"its da best food in da hooooole world" i sed
"why do u want to creat fried chikin" he sed
"becuz witout it i cant use magik" i sed
"well i can fix dat" sed jesus
den he put his hand on my hed and sed "HEAL" and... my magik powers were back!!!11
"wow" i sed. i looked at da ground. "fried chikin" i sed but dere wuz no ried chikin,
"you should get rid of that gun" sed jesus "theyre not allowed at school. u cud get crucified"
i didnt no how he saw da gun but he pointed to my shirt and dey flew out an disapered.
"dont u need a wand 4 dat" i sed
"i never need a wand" he sed
"wow u must b a grate wiserd" i sed
"i lerned it at skool. do u go 2 school?"
"i used to..." i sed
"u have to go 2 skool" sed jesus " dat way you can get a high payin job. wen i graduate i want 2 b a carpender"
"well until i make fried chikin and get home can i go 2 ur school?" i sed
"sure but we need 2 go see da dumbledoor first" sed jesus
mi an hary pottr were da onli ppl on da ravencow teem. all da odda teems was flyin arond trin to put dere balls in r hols. an da kluklanklan wuz shootin up at us.
"hary u gard da goals. ill lok 4 da snigger" i sed.
i flu up high on mi dragen. "GET DAT NIGGA" sed a griffendor. "NOT B4 I PUT A BAL IN UR HOL" sed a slithrin. "ILL BEET U BOT" sed a hufflypuff. den he fell down. he wuz accidently shot bi da klukluxklan.
i wuz fliin up in da air lokin 4 da snikker. den i saw vadermort. "die" he sed buit i flew out of da way. instead he hit a griffindoor an he esploded.
"U MISSD MI" i sed an went bak 2 lokin 4 da snigger. "die" sed vadermort again. den he missd an hit a death eater an he died.
i wuz fliin an vadermort wuz chasin mi. den i saw... draco!!1 an he saw mi. "now die soulja spirit buu jackson!!1" an he pulld out his gun. an he shooted mi but i got out of da way an instead he hit... VADERMORT!!11
"AHHHHHH" sed vadermort. den vadermort pointed his wand at draco an his brom esploded an he fel in2 da klukluxklan but dey didnt hurt him cuz he was wite.
"ah ha" sed vadermort. he had fond da snigger. i lokd dwon. da snigger wuz in da middle of da feeld.. right in da middle of... DA KLUXKLUXKLAN.
he wuz divin 2ward it and so did i. dere was bodis all ova da feeld. da klukluxklan wuz shotin up.
"u cant let da klukluxklan get da snigger" sed hary potta "or dey win da gaem!!1111"
da klukluxklan wasnt shotin at vadermort. he wuz wite. dey wuz shotin at me but dey kept missin an hittin everibody else!!11
"hey lok deres da snigger!!1" sed da klukluxklanman an started runin 2ward it. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!11111111111111111111111111111" i sed
"yes" sed vadermort as da klukluxklan man put his hand on da snigger.
but da ball went throo da klukluxklansmans hand. den i reelised... dey werent da klukluxklan... DEY WERE GHOSTS!!111111
"u fools!!1" sed vadermort.
bcuz dey were gosts i flew thro dem an got da snigger. but dey shot up mi dragen. an it died.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!11111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111" sed vadermort.
den da buzza sonded. da game wuz ova. "U WIN" sed da dumbledoor.
"u may haff won this tim... BUT NOT 4 LONG!!11111111" sed vadermort. den he pointed his wand at harry. "die" he sed. harry esploded. he fell off his bromstik.
"QUIK GET DA DOKTA" but bi da tim we got dere hge was alredy ded.
"haha sed vadermort and him an his detheaters flew away.
--
ch 13 dat meen bitch
"U WON DA CHAMPIONSHIP!!1111" sed herman.
"good job" sed da dumbledoor.
"weres draco?" sed herman
"o he almost died" sed da dumbledoor. "but da best part is every1 on da sliteryn teem died!!"
"we shud celebrate" sed herman an she startd kissin up on mi.
"i no maybi we cud go 2 a fancy restrant" i sed.
"rly" sed herman.
"ya we can go 2 applebees!!11" i sed.
den she huggd mi an started kissin up on me even more.
dat nite i desided 2 do somden speshal. it wuz r first date. so i took a shower. i put on ma best cothes.
i took herman 2 applebees.
"dis is amazin!!" she sed.
we sat down an dis fancy french guy cam 2 us an sed "wuts yo order" he sed.
"ill get a cowboy burger" i sed "wit friez n onions"
"ok an wut wud u lik missy?" he sed.
"ill hav a salad an sum water"
"ok" he sed an den he went away 2 get r food
but den... hu walkd in... BUT DRACO!!111 an he sat down bside herman.
"watta u doin!!1" i sed
"noddin" sed draco lookin arund all sneekily an den he walkd away.
den da fancy french guy brot r food an we eatted it.
den we went bak 2 hogwats an she tok off her cloze an got in mah bed.
i wuz about 2 put mi big blak cock in her tiny wite ass but den i realisd... dere wuz somebody already in dere!!
den i turnd on da lite. herman wuz havin sex wit draco!!1111
"U MEEN BITCH" i sed.
"wait dont leef me!!" she sed but i wuz alredy up an out of da room.
AN: thx 4 all da gud reviewz!!111
--
ch 14 da evil lair
AN: dis chapta wuz brot 2 u by da AFCA. da americin fried chikin associashun.
"wut r we gonna do about dat nigga" sed vadermort. he wuz sittin in his evil lair havin dinna wit dracula an hitler. dey were eatin babies.
"i say we kill him!!" sed dracula
"gutantof gutantof chocolate choclate gutantof" sed hitler wich wuz german 4 "i agree we shud kill him"
"ive tried dat u fool!!" sed vadermort "hes such a great blak magicon dat he keeps cumming bak 2 life"
dracula tok a bit of his baby. "den how r we gonna kill dat nigga"
"i dont know" sed vadermort. den hitler screemed.
"KINDERGAREN" he sed wich wuz german 4 "deres sumden rong wit mi baby"
den dracula lookd ova "wait dat isnt a baby... dis is fried chiknin!!11"
den vadermort had an idea.
"i no" he sed. "ill go bak in time an make sure dat FRIED CHIKIN WUZ NEVER INVENTED!!111"
"daz a good idea" sed dracula an hitler clappin dere hands.
dracula finished his meel. "my my wut an enjoyable meel" he sed dabbing da sides of his cape.
den vadermort starded speekin "by tomorrow everythin in hogwart is gonna BE ALL WHITE!!1111111"
AN: ohhh dat wuz scarry... i wundda wuts gonna happen next!!11
--
ch 15 cryin
it wuz nittime. i wuz sittin under a tree cryin. dat meen bitch herman wuz cheetin on me wit draco.
"dat meen bitch" i sed cryin. why wuz she cheetin on me. i didnt no.
just den... from behind a tree... i saw a memba of DA KLUKLUXKLAN!!111111111111111111
he wuz wakkin 2wards me. i reechd 4 my wand. but i didnthave it cuz da police took it away when i was in jail.
"nooooo dont hurt me" i sed but he kept commin.
he reeched out his hand. an his hand went throo me.
it wasnt a memba of da klukluxklan... IT WUZ A GOST!!1111
"hey turtle wutchu doin all da way out heer" sed da gost. den i reelised... it wuz da ghost of HARRY POTTRE!!11111
"hary!! ur a ghost!!" i sed.
"i no. dat evil jew vadermort killed me" he sed. "why u out heer turtle"
"dat meen bitch herman cheeted on me wit draco"
"dat meen bitch. but dont worry turtle. dere are odder girls. ur da sexiest blak man ever"
"rly" i sed
"rly" he sed. "well lets go 2 sleep. we hve class 2morrow."
so we went 2 r room an went 2 sleep.
AN: u thot hary potter wuz gone... but i triked u!!111
--
ch 16 da next day
afta we had brekfest we went 2 class. me ghost harry were sittin next 2 eachodder while da teacher wuz teachin.
den... dat meen bitch herman came in. she tried 2 sit next to me but she almost sat on ghost harry,
"HEY" i sed "herry's sittin dere!!1"
"sorry" she sed and den went 2 go sit somewhere else.
in class we lernd how 2 grow flowers with magik. i cudnt do it well bcuz i had no wand
an den class ended.
den dis old man came up 2 me. "i rememba u"
"wut" i sed
"yeh i remember you" he sed
"ok" i sed. den we went 2 lunch.
so we sat down at da table. i was rly hungry 4 sum fried chikin. but dere was none on da table.
"ill have to fix dat" i sed "fried chikin" but noddin happend. "fried chikin" i sed agin, but noddin happend. den i turned 2 magik jonson who wuz sittin across from mi.
"wheres all da fried chikin" i sed.
"fired chikin?" he sed "wuz dat?"
"u no fried chikin" i sed.
"iv never herd of it" he sed.
den i started 2 get scared.
"OH MY GOD" sed ghost harry "VADERMORT MUST HAVE GONBE BACK IN TIME TO MAKE IT SO DAT FRIED CHIKIN WUZ NEVER INVENTED!!111111111111111"
"daz terrible!!" i sed " life wont b da same witout fried chikin!!1 an i cant use magic anymore!!"
"u cant use magik animore?!" sed magik jonson "den you haff 2 get da hell out of dis skool!!11111"
but we cudnt leev yet. we had one more class...
-
ch 17 dark magik
we went into snapes class. he toaut da dark arts. not dark as is blak, bcuz dat was magik jonson. dark as in evil.
i knew dat snape wuz vadermort an wut he had done so we were lookin all angry like at eachodder all class.
"i went bak in time an made sure fried chikin wuznt invented. now u have no magic powers. den all cum up 2 ur room 2night and kill u!!111111111"
i cudnt do magik so all class i talkd wit ghost harry.
as i wuz goin to mi room i saw herman an draco lovin up on eachodder. i got rly mad.
den snape came out of his class. "dracula, wat are you doing" he sed.
"WUT!!1" i sed.
"VADERMORT U FOOL" sed draco
"oops" sed snape.
den i saw it... draco wuz short 4... DRACULA!!111111
"wut!!11" sed herman "ur a vampire?!1"
"DAM" sed dracula
den filtch came in wit his cat sweepin da floors. he turned 2 snape "irchskinveikshin"
"hitler! weve gotta get out of here!!1" sed snape
snape took a dolla bill out of his pocket and it grew 2 da size of a carpet.
"EVERYBODY! QUICK! BACK 2 DA LAIR!!11" sed vadermort. den snape, flitch and draco jumped on it and flew away.
--
ch 18 bak at da lair
"U BLEW MI COVA VADERMORT!!111" sed dracula. dey were all sittin at da table. vadermort dracula hitler and wolfman.
"wen r da fried babis gonna' get heer!?" sed wolfman.
"enuff chit chat" sed vadermort "i wud like 2 introduce 2 u our most sincer member an da founder of dis organisashun... da deevil."
a death eater rolled in a crinkled old man in a wheel chair.
"i heer dat u boys have been havin trouble killin dis nigga" sed da devil.
"yes" sed vadermort "weve killd him... tried 2 beet him at bromstiks... we dont no wut 2 do!!11"
"well deres more den 1 way 2 kill a nigger" sed devil. "in mi day we killd niggers all da time."
"but we have a plan. we went bak in time an made it so dat fried chikin wuz never invented. now he cant use magik. niw all we have to do is kill him 2nite."
"well dis is wut u do..." sed da devil...
--
ch 19 goodbye
i wuz packin mi stuff 2 get ready to leef. an ghost harry wuz helpin mi.
"im gonna miss u turtle" sed ghost harry.
"im gonna miss u too ghost harry" i sed.
so i picked up mi suitcase and wnet 2 da gates.
"goodbye" i sed.
den... da gate esploded an vadermort flu in on his dolla bill wit hitler wolfman an dracula!! and there army of detheaters!!111
"GET DAT NIGGA" he sed an dey all started attak me. dey took out dere guns and dere magik wands and started 2 shoot magik an bullets at mi. but i cudnt fite bak bcuz i cudnt use magik an hary cudnt fite bcuz he wuz a gost.
dracula flew through da air an jumpped on me. "HOW DO U LIKE DA TASTE OF DIS NIGGA" he se an was about to bite my neck. den... HE WUZ KNOCKED OFF BY A FLYING PINK VACUMCLEANER!!1111
it wuz.. HERMAN!!1111 "TAK DAT MUTHAFUKA" she sed.
"noooo dere gonna soot u!!1" i sed an wolfman 2ward her as da detheaters started 2 shoot at her.
den he wuz shot down bi bullets. da dumbledor wuz standing wit a gatling gun in his hands!!11
"WHAT" sed vadermort. an da dumbledoor shot him off his dolla bill.
"I THOT WE CUDNT BRING GUNS 2 SKOOL" sed harypotter.
"teechers can" sed da dukbledoor.
he thru me a gun.
"guns dont use magik" he sed.
den we all started 2 fite da detheatters.
da dumbledoor shot down da first row wit his gatling gun. "TAKE DAT BITCHES" he sed.
"URCHKIN FURTIVATIN" sed hitler an took out his RPG lancher an started firen. dey were esplodin everywere.
"DUUUUUUUCK!!11111111111111" sed da dumbledoor an we jumped bhind a wall.
we were all firn at dem an dey were firn at us. dere wuz soooo many of dem!!1111
den da dumbledoor took a remote control an hit a button.
dere wuz an esploshun in da middle of da detheaters. wolfman howled in pain.
"wut wuz dat?" i sed.
"i put remotecontrol landmines aaaaaallllll over hogwarts incase someden like dis hapined." sed da dumbledoor.
"no my patronis!!1" sed herman.
dracula wuz holdin on 2 da flyin pink vacumcleener and da detheaters wuz trin 2 shot it down.
"wait weres harry?!" i sed.
he wuz in da middle of da detheaters but dey cudnt hurt him bcuz he wuz a ghost an he wuz now wite.
d dumbledoor hit 2 more buttens. da entire bak of da detheaters esploded. dracula wuz thrown off da vacumcleener.
da vacumcleener flew bak. it had a hole in da bag.
"nooooooo!!11" sed herman and she took out her sewing kit 2 fix it.
a bullet hit da ground bside me. dere were 30 guys on da roof bhind us!! i took my gun an shot dem all down.
"tanks" sed da dumbledoor an kept shotin wit his gatlingun. vadermrot wuz trin 2 get away.
"OH HELL NO" i sed an ran out from bhind da wall shootin at vadermort.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!11111111" sed herman but she was 2 busy sewing 2 do anyting.
i wuz dogin all da bullets an shootin da detheatrs an shootin vadermort.
"good now ive got u" sed da devil.
den i turned around an saw da devil flyin around in his wheelchair.
"TAKE DIS" he sed an a door came out of nowere in front of me. he opened it an 2 detheaters grabbed me. inside da door wuz... HELL(sorry 4 da dirty laguig)!!11111111111111111
"NOOOO DERE GONNA PUT U IN HELL BCUZ IF U WENT 2 HEVEN GOD WUD SEND U BAK BUT IF U WENT 2 HELL YOU WOULD NEVA COME BAK!!11111111111111111111111" sed harry.
"lololololololololololololololololololololololol" sed da devil evilly.
den out of nowere a basketball came an hit satan out of his chair. it esploded in2 a blak hole!! it sucked up da devils chair an da 2 detheaters holdin me.
"am i late?" sed magik jonson.
"ABOUT TIME NIGGER" sed da dumbledoor an hit 2 more buttons. dey blew up somemore detheaters.
"well take it from here" sed magik jonson "u kids get out of here"
so me an herman jumped on da pink vacumcleener an flew away.
"WAIT 4 ME" sed harry.
"YOUR A GHOST U CAN FLY" i sed.
"OH YEAH" sed harry an flew up wit us.
we were goin 2 da only place we knew. shieqwans apartment.
--
ch 20.. da aqartment
"dere it is" i sed pointing at sheiqwazs apartment.
we flew thru da window. glass went everywere. sheiqwaz wuz eatin KFC wit his griffin and wtachin soulplane
"nigga wutchu doin? deres glass on my floor!!!111" he sed.
"vadermort took away my powers an da devil tried to kill me and put me in hell" i sed.
"daz awful" sed sheiqwaz.
hermon wuz vacumin up da brokin glass.
"how did he take ur powers" he sed.
"he went back in time an uninvented fried chikin" i sed
"fried chikin? wuz dat?" he sed.
"nigga arent u eatin KFC" i sed
"KFC doesnt make fried chikin" he sed.
"we need ur help" sed herman.
"ok ill help u go bak in time" he sed.
den he got out a clock.
"since u dont dont have magik ull need these" he sed. he took out a bigass gun. "an some of des" and he gave me sum grenades.
i tok dem.
"i want 2 go bak in time 2" sed herman.
"oh u dont want 2 go bak in time" he sed "dey dont have pretty dresses or makeup or sewin mashines bak den"
"ur rite i dont want 2 go" sed herman
he put da clock in front of me.
"ill send u bak in time 10 thousen years ago"
den he stared to move da hands bakwards an i stared to fall in2 1 of dos tunnels wit clocks flyin around"
i fell out in hogwarts. alot of tings looked differant. den... sum cracker hit my shoulder as he passed by. he had long hair and a berd.
"who do u tink u are" i sed. den he turned around.
"hi im jesus" he sed.
--
21 my new frend
AN: my precher told me all da jesus stories an wrote down da names 4 me so i cud use dem in my story. da following is a true story.
I was so amazed i wuz gonna pee myself... jesus... WAS WHITE!!!!!!!11
"oh my god" i sed.
"hey hey hey dont talk abot my dad dat way" he sed
"im sorry" i sed
"i havent seen u b4. were r u from" he sed
"im from the future and ive cum 2 da past 2 invent fried chikin" i sed
"fried chikin" he sed "wuts that"
"its da best food in da hooooole world" i sed
"why do u want to creat fried chikin" he sed
"becuz witout it i cant use magik" i sed
"well i can fix dat" sed jesus
den he put his hand on my hed and sed "HEAL" and... my magik powers were back!!!11
"wow" i sed. i looked at da ground. "fried chikin" i sed but dere wuz no ried chikin,
"you should get rid of that gun" sed jesus "theyre not allowed at school. u cud get crucified"
i didnt no how he saw da gun but he pointed to my shirt and dey flew out an disapered.
"dont u need a wand 4 dat" i sed
"i never need a wand" he sed
"wow u must b a grate wiserd" i sed
"i lerned it at skool. do u go 2 school?"
"i used to..." i sed
"u have to go 2 skool" sed jesus " dat way you can get a high payin job. wen i graduate i want 2 b a carpender"
"well until i make fried chikin and get home can i go 2 ur school?" i sed
"sure but we need 2 go see da dumbledoor first" sed jesus