ch 32 bak to da room
me an david were wakkin up da many stairs until we came 2 da ravenclaw picture. but it wasnt a picture. it wuz a dragen.
"u cant cum in unless ur in ravenclaw" it sed
"im in ravenclaw" sed david
"an ill be in ravenclaw in da fututre" i sed.
"ok u can cum in" it sed. an we did.
dere were pillows everywere an goatppl. it wuz really anchent lookin. den a old man wit a bred came up 2 me.
"who r u" i sed
"im noah. noah ark" he sed "wut r u doin here"
"oh plz mr ark" sed david "me an turtle r hidin from snape. well b here for a while"
"oh i never liked snape" sed noah "he seems kinda evil to me"
'well be hidin out here for a while" sed david
"theyll b lookin up her. so u need to hide in da upper levels wit da monsters an da demons"
"wut" i sed.
"when god wuz goin to flood da world he told me to build an ark. but i built dis tower insted. we all went to da top, but so did all da monsters an demons god wuz tryin to kill. den on da last day he sent a raven 2 claw my eyes out. so i decided to call dis house ravenclaw. an dats why we have monsters up dere." he sed
"wow" i sed. i wuz amased.
"but deres still more" sed noah "a great woserd once made a stone dat gave ppl magikal powers. an he called it da wiserd stone. an he put at da top of da tower. an to make sure dat no one cud get it he made da demons an monsters more powers. it can turn anyting into anyting else."
"if da wiserd stone can change anyting into anyting..." i sed "...den maybe i can use it to invent fried chikin!!" i sed.
"hey david" i sed "we sud go an try an find da wiserd stone"
"dat sounds dangerous" sed david "we might need sum wepons" he went in his room an came bak wit a slingshot. "okay lets go"
i took out my gun an my wand "ya lets go" i sed an we went up da stairs.
"dont forget to lock dat big magik door wen you go so dat da monsters dont cum in here!!" sed noah.
--
ch 33 in da tower part 1
we were in da upper level of da tower above da common room. it wuz blak. we cudnt see anyting. denn.... a monster wit glowin green eyes jumped at david. dey were wrestlin on da ground. i wondered why he cudnt see me. den i realised. it wuz dark. an i wuz blak. so he cudnt see me.
david shoved a grenade in his mouth. "TAKE DIS MOUTHAFUKKA" he sed an den he hit his he so dat da monsters hed esplosded. he flew across da room. in da light of da esplosion i saw sat dere wuz not just one monster. der wuz a gajillion of dem! an dragens. an demons. an bats. but dey werent regular bats. dey were... VAMPIRES!!!!!
"HOLY SHIT" sed david
i put my hands up an made my magik sheeld. "NOW DIE" i sed an pushed da sheeld toward dem. 50 of da monsters were runnin towards us an dey vaporized. den a vampire put up his sheeld an dey hit in da middle. dere wuz a huge esplosion. da hole tower shook.
"wut wuz dat" sed pumpass piolet down in da common room.
"im sure it wuz nottin" sed noah.
"oh ok" sed pilot.
den i took out my wand blade. "COVA ME" i sed
"OK" sed david an put a grenade in his slingshot.
i ran at a monster. he took out his sord of evil. i cudnt sut throu it so he blocked. put as i wuz doin dat 20 more vampires came up behind me. so i took out my gun an shot dose muthfukkas down. den da others slashed at me so i blocked wit my gun an slashed dem in haff. den dere wuz an esplosion behind me. david blew up 10 more muthafukkas. den he put in two grenades at once an fired on eitha side of me. all of dem died.
den a dragen came at me. i blocked hit my sheeld an all his fire went on da monsters to da other side. den i rolled an cut his hed off. but dere fire comin out of his neck an he had acid blood. i kicked da neck so dat it spred all ova da odder enemies. den i shot it wit my wand. everyone wuz on fire. i could see dem now. dere were werewolfs above my hed. dey jumped down wit two sords in each hand. but dey werent swords. dey were machine gun sords with grenade lanchers. i put up my sheeld, but dey hit it so hard dat it broke. i jumped up an cut da first one in half. den i jumped of him an attack da second one. he had his sord up but i cut through it and his hed. den i jumped off him an stabed da third one. den i grabbed one of his sords an shot one of da ones on da ceeling. i shot him so miny times dat he tiurned 2 blud an it fell on me.
i took dat gun an threw it at da enemys an shot it wit my wand. dere wuz a huge esplosion. flamin body parts and blood covered in asid flew toward us.
"NOW I NO I HERD SUMDEN" sed pumpass pilot
"it wus da wind" sed noah.
"well i can tell dat mr buu jackson isnt here" sed pilot. "ill be leevin now" an he left. but just an he left da acid ate thru da floor an we fell thru wit all da flamin monsters.
"wuts goin on here?" sed noah.
i fell out of da hole an cut one of da monsters in haff an blod sprayed everywhere. david wuz standin lookin down from da hole an shootin granades at da monsters. all da windows broke an all da glass flew intoo da monsters an children. everyone wuz runnin around scarred. excpet me an david.
i ran along da walls an jumped an cut two werewolfs in half.
"everyone calm down" sed noah.
dere wuz a monster in da middle of da room who had a monster in each hand an wuz takin a bite out of each of dem. an da werewolfs were bitin children so dat dey bcame werewolfs. da vampires were bitin children 2. an deywere tunin into vampires. den david shot a grenade at da monster at da middle of da floor. his hed esploded.
"OK. DAZ IT" sed noah. a ball of energy came between his hands an he through it. it turned into... A WHITE HOLE!!!! an it sucked up all da monsters da furiture an a cuple of children.
den dere wuz a knock at da door.
"noah?" sed pumpass pilot "is sumden wrong in dere?"
"ill be dere in a minute!" sed noah. den he turned to us. "GET YO ASSES BACK UP DERE AN DONT DO DAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!"
-
ch 34 gay butt sex in da chamber of secrets
"WHERE WERE U" sed snape 2 some of his detheatters from da future.
"we were down in da pit havin gay butt sex" sed one of da detheatters.
"wut?" sed snape.
"yeah. sum very powerful wiserd clicked his heels an did a little turn an sed "rainbow" an we felt so happy dat we wanted 2 have gay butt sex with eacheother." sed da detheatta
"who did dis?!" sed snape
"dis guy" sed 1 of da detheatters an he turned around. dere wuz josef havin gay butt sex in dat guys ass.
"HOW DID U GET IN DA CHAMBER OF SECRETS" sed harod
"i wuz lookin around da skool 4 sum gay butt sex" sed josef "have u seen any?"
"no i havnt" sed harod evilly
"NOW GO AWAY AN NEVER RETURN" sed snape "AN FORGET DAT YOU EVER WENT INTO DA CHAMBER OF SECRETS"
"chamber of secrets?" sed josef "wuts dat"
"never mind" sed snape "now GO AWAY"
"ok" sed josef. an he did.
--
ch 35 in da slitheryn commin room
moses wuz lookin around da slitherin commen room at all da chillin. in his hand wuz a magik staff dat turned into a snake. den he saw harod an jezebell wakkin out da door wit a shotgun.
"hey hey hey hey" he sed "u kids cant have shotguns in skool"
"its ok mr moses" sed harod "were not gonna hunt students. were gonna go out in da woods an shoot pupies"
"oh well i gess dats alrite den. but if ur out dere an u see dat evil nigger turtle den u had better shoot him 2 deth" sed moses.
"ok" dey sed
den........... A RAINBOW BUST THRU DA WINDOW !!!!!!!1
jezebell got so scared dat she had a baby.
"oh look anodderone" she sed an put it in her bakpack full of babies.
den josef slid down da rainbow. "hey guys were u goin" sed josef "if ur goin 2 da chamber of secrets can i cum?"
"shh" sed jebadiah (1 of josefs many brodders)
"hey look its my many brodders!!!" sed josef "i didnt expect 2 see u guys here!!"
"chamber of sectrets?" sed moses "wuts dat"
"oh its a grate place" sed josef "were dose ppl go 2 hatch evil schemes with snape"
"WUT" sed moses an his staff into a snake. dat scared jezebel so much dat she had anodder baby which she den put into her bakpack. "UR PLOTTIN EVIL TINGS WIT SNAPE"
"yeh" sed josef.
den moses ran towards dem. "u cant go outside" he sed. den jezebell hit him ova da hed wit her sack of babies.
"ow" he sed den fell ova in pain "i gess u kids rly r evil..." den hared poped a cap in his ass. den he he started wrigglin around in pain.
"quik lets get out of here" sed jezebell an jezebell harod an josefs many brodders ran away.
"josef..." sed moses
"yes" he sed
"u were right... here take dis staff an stop dem..." den he fell asleep.
"tanks" sed josef an looked it up an down "i no wut imma do wit dis"
--
ch 36 da gay samariten
josef at da hufflepuff table eattin fruit loops becuz it wuz his favorite cereal bcuz dey reminded him of fruity gay buttholes. he wuz sittin an tinkin about da staff dat moses gave him den some1 sat down beside josef wit a big bowl of fruitloops.
"why hello josef" he sed.
"oh hello bradberry" sed josef. bradberry had a mustash an a fancy monical an a colorful top hat.
"how r u" sed bradberry.
"fabulos" sed josef
"fabulos!" sed bradberry.
den a big muscular man wit a rainbow thong walked past dem.
"oh hey steven" sed josef
"oh hey" sed steven flewing hois gay arms "u look tubled. have u had ur gay buttsex 2day?"
"well i--" sed josef but dey were interuppted by da hed of hufflepuf sittin down.
"hello children" he sed.
"hello mr samariten" all da hufflepuffs sed. but he wasnt da good samartian. he wuz da gay samariten. bcuz when he wuz little he grew u wit da good samaritan da grumpy samaritan da dopey samariten da happy samariten an all da odders.
"HEY FAGGOT" sed someone on da slitherin table. den everyone on da hufflepuff table turned bcuz dey were all gay. "are u talkin 2 me" dey all sed.
"hey!" sed anodder hufflypuff "if dey called us den dey must have sum gay butsex wit dem!"
"HORRAY" sed bradberry. den all da hufflepuffs got up and moved over to da slitherin tabel 4 sum gay buttsex.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed da sltherins. but it wuz too late.
--
raveneagel under reviews sctn .. in resqonse to reviewer who sed 'abuse reported.'
u no wat? oppression reported.
--
ch37 back in da chamber of secrets
"you better watch out" sed snape "next to jesus hes da gratest wiserd dat ever lived."
de were all in da chamber of secrets. jezebell wuz so suprised dat she had a baby. harod looked at it hungrily.
"well tank u" sed josef. snape snapped around suprised.
"HOW DID U GET IN HERE" sed snape
"my friend steven broke a hole in da wall" sed josef.
"who are dey!?" sed snape.
"oh dese are my friends" sed josef "bradberry an steven"
"how do you do" sed bradberry tippin his hat.
"hey hansome" sed steven flexin his gay mussles.
"well were gettin tired of u" sed snape "so were gonna have to kill you"
"dont do dat!" sed josef "just be happy!" den he clicked his heels an did a little turn. "RAINBOW"
"avada kadavra" sed snape and da rainbow died. a tear went down josefs face.
"dats so horrible" he sed
"dont b sad josef" sed steven "lets go have some gay buttsex."
"ok" sed josef an dey went away.
"were gonna have to do someden about dat annoyin son of a bitch" sed snape
"but how" sed jezebell "hes da gratest wiserd since jesus"
"we dont have to worry about esus" sed snape "hes suspended. he wont be back any time soon. but harod.... dis is wut well do..."
ch 38 da atomik vibratin antimagik knife
under his cloak harod had da most powerful antimagik knife ever made. a atomik vibratin antimagik knife. dere wuz 2 big buttcheeks.
"password" it sed
"gay buttsex" sed harod
"DATS CORRECT" sed dat huge ass. den its butt cheeks spread apart 2 reveal da hufflepuff commin room. but da hufflepuff commin room wuz... EGYPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dere wuz sand everywere an he cud see da penismids (wich is wut dey called da pyrimids back den)
dere were all da huffle puffs havin gay buttsex decorating and doing muikal theater.
den... steven threw his big arms around him.
"hey cutie" he sed "i havent seen u before."
"hey hes probably lookin for sum gay buttsex!!" sed one of da other hufflepuffs
"HORRAY" sed bradberry an all da hufflepuffs ran up to harod 4 sum gay buttsex.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed harod. but it wuz 2 late.
"hey look he has a vibrator!!" sed one of da hufflepuffs pullin his cock out of harods ass. it wuz da atomic vibratin antimagik knife. he switched it on an shoved it up harods ass.
--
ch 39 harods broken butthole
"DEY RAPED MI BUTT HOLE" sed harod. he wuz standin up in da chamba of sectrets cuz he cudnt sit down. his ass wuz in a cast becuz it had been ripped apart by da cocks of hufflepuufs an da atomik vibratin antimagik knife which wuz shoved so far up his butthole dat doktas sed dat dey cud neva find it.
"wut" sed snape "but did u manage to kill josef"
"kill me?" sed josef who wuz standin in da corner of da room wit steven an bradberry.
"hey hansome" sed steven
"i had a FABULOS time yesterday" sed bradberry
"u shud cum by more often" sed josef
harod turned around an put his butt in a corner so dat dey cudnt have buttsex wit him.
"i underestimated you josef!!" sed snape "but 1 day youll regret dis"
"untill dat day can we have butt sex?" sed josef
"4 DA LAST TIME NO" sed snape
"well well just down here in case u change ur mind" dey sed an sat at sum of da desks.
den snape went up to harod an jezebell an josefs many brodders an wispad so dat josef cudnt hear dem.
"we have 2 do someden about dem soon. its obviously not safe to send a man in dere... but... maybe u jezebell...
--
ch 40 josefs not so colorful coat
jezebell wuz hidin in josefs room. it wuz rly dark. den josef came in.
"tank u bradberry. i had a wunderful time" he sed
"fabulos!" sed bradberry.
"fabulos!" sed steven.
den he closed da door. it wuz dark again. den josef stopped.
"whos dere" sed josef
"... butt sex" sed jezebell
"HORRAY" sed josef an jumped in da bed.
.... da night past. an den da sun came up ova eygpt.
"ah" sed josef gettin up "im tired frum all dat gay buttsex." an den he looked ova. it wuz... JEZEBELL!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed josef. da screem ekhoed across eygpt qan hogwarts.
"wut wuz dat?" sed pumpass pilot sittin in his office.
den jezebell started laffin. she laffed so hard dat she had a baby.
josef jumped up. he wuz lookin horrified. slowly his coat turned from rainbow colored to gray.
"rain cloud..." he sed. an a little rainbow formed above him an started rainin on him.
den... he turned around an rain out of da penismid.
"hey! were r u goin?" sed steven.
"leeve me alone" sed josef
"aww wuts wrong" sed steven "do u want sum gay butt sex?"
"NO" sed josef. den everybody turned around.
"WUT" dey all sed. den dey started wisperin. "josef dont want no gay buttsex..."
"what ever is da matter" sed bradberry.
"JUST LEEVE ME ALONE" sed josef an den he forced himself thru da buttcheeks an ran away.
--
ch 41 da second qart of da qlan
"mission accomplished" sed jezebell.
"good" sed snape. "now all we have to worry about is dat damn turtle"
"i hear hes in da tower of babel" sed harod
"wuts he doin dere" sed snape
"hes goin to da top so dat he can get da wiserd stone" sed jezebell.
"oh" sed vadermort reechin into his poket "u meen... dis?" he held up... DA WISERD STONE!!!!!!
all da dethetters were amased. den dey all started laffin evilly.
"now for da second part of r plan" sed snape.
me an david were wakkin up da many stairs until we came 2 da ravenclaw picture. but it wasnt a picture. it wuz a dragen.
"u cant cum in unless ur in ravenclaw" it sed
"im in ravenclaw" sed david
"an ill be in ravenclaw in da fututre" i sed.
"ok u can cum in" it sed. an we did.
dere were pillows everywere an goatppl. it wuz really anchent lookin. den a old man wit a bred came up 2 me.
"who r u" i sed
"im noah. noah ark" he sed "wut r u doin here"
"oh plz mr ark" sed david "me an turtle r hidin from snape. well b here for a while"
"oh i never liked snape" sed noah "he seems kinda evil to me"
'well be hidin out here for a while" sed david
"theyll b lookin up her. so u need to hide in da upper levels wit da monsters an da demons"
"wut" i sed.
"when god wuz goin to flood da world he told me to build an ark. but i built dis tower insted. we all went to da top, but so did all da monsters an demons god wuz tryin to kill. den on da last day he sent a raven 2 claw my eyes out. so i decided to call dis house ravenclaw. an dats why we have monsters up dere." he sed
"wow" i sed. i wuz amased.
"but deres still more" sed noah "a great woserd once made a stone dat gave ppl magikal powers. an he called it da wiserd stone. an he put at da top of da tower. an to make sure dat no one cud get it he made da demons an monsters more powers. it can turn anyting into anyting else."
"if da wiserd stone can change anyting into anyting..." i sed "...den maybe i can use it to invent fried chikin!!" i sed.
"hey david" i sed "we sud go an try an find da wiserd stone"
"dat sounds dangerous" sed david "we might need sum wepons" he went in his room an came bak wit a slingshot. "okay lets go"
i took out my gun an my wand "ya lets go" i sed an we went up da stairs.
"dont forget to lock dat big magik door wen you go so dat da monsters dont cum in here!!" sed noah.
--
ch 33 in da tower part 1
we were in da upper level of da tower above da common room. it wuz blak. we cudnt see anyting. denn.... a monster wit glowin green eyes jumped at david. dey were wrestlin on da ground. i wondered why he cudnt see me. den i realised. it wuz dark. an i wuz blak. so he cudnt see me.
david shoved a grenade in his mouth. "TAKE DIS MOUTHAFUKKA" he sed an den he hit his he so dat da monsters hed esplosded. he flew across da room. in da light of da esplosion i saw sat dere wuz not just one monster. der wuz a gajillion of dem! an dragens. an demons. an bats. but dey werent regular bats. dey were... VAMPIRES!!!!!
"HOLY SHIT" sed david
i put my hands up an made my magik sheeld. "NOW DIE" i sed an pushed da sheeld toward dem. 50 of da monsters were runnin towards us an dey vaporized. den a vampire put up his sheeld an dey hit in da middle. dere wuz a huge esplosion. da hole tower shook.
"wut wuz dat" sed pumpass piolet down in da common room.
"im sure it wuz nottin" sed noah.
"oh ok" sed pilot.
den i took out my wand blade. "COVA ME" i sed
"OK" sed david an put a grenade in his slingshot.
i ran at a monster. he took out his sord of evil. i cudnt sut throu it so he blocked. put as i wuz doin dat 20 more vampires came up behind me. so i took out my gun an shot dose muthfukkas down. den da others slashed at me so i blocked wit my gun an slashed dem in haff. den dere wuz an esplosion behind me. david blew up 10 more muthafukkas. den he put in two grenades at once an fired on eitha side of me. all of dem died.
den a dragen came at me. i blocked hit my sheeld an all his fire went on da monsters to da other side. den i rolled an cut his hed off. but dere fire comin out of his neck an he had acid blood. i kicked da neck so dat it spred all ova da odder enemies. den i shot it wit my wand. everyone wuz on fire. i could see dem now. dere were werewolfs above my hed. dey jumped down wit two sords in each hand. but dey werent swords. dey were machine gun sords with grenade lanchers. i put up my sheeld, but dey hit it so hard dat it broke. i jumped up an cut da first one in half. den i jumped of him an attack da second one. he had his sord up but i cut through it and his hed. den i jumped off him an stabed da third one. den i grabbed one of his sords an shot one of da ones on da ceeling. i shot him so miny times dat he tiurned 2 blud an it fell on me.
i took dat gun an threw it at da enemys an shot it wit my wand. dere wuz a huge esplosion. flamin body parts and blood covered in asid flew toward us.
"NOW I NO I HERD SUMDEN" sed pumpass pilot
"it wus da wind" sed noah.
"well i can tell dat mr buu jackson isnt here" sed pilot. "ill be leevin now" an he left. but just an he left da acid ate thru da floor an we fell thru wit all da flamin monsters.
"wuts goin on here?" sed noah.
i fell out of da hole an cut one of da monsters in haff an blod sprayed everywhere. david wuz standin lookin down from da hole an shootin granades at da monsters. all da windows broke an all da glass flew intoo da monsters an children. everyone wuz runnin around scarred. excpet me an david.
i ran along da walls an jumped an cut two werewolfs in half.
"everyone calm down" sed noah.
dere wuz a monster in da middle of da room who had a monster in each hand an wuz takin a bite out of each of dem. an da werewolfs were bitin children so dat dey bcame werewolfs. da vampires were bitin children 2. an deywere tunin into vampires. den david shot a grenade at da monster at da middle of da floor. his hed esploded.
"OK. DAZ IT" sed noah. a ball of energy came between his hands an he through it. it turned into... A WHITE HOLE!!!! an it sucked up all da monsters da furiture an a cuple of children.
den dere wuz a knock at da door.
"noah?" sed pumpass pilot "is sumden wrong in dere?"
"ill be dere in a minute!" sed noah. den he turned to us. "GET YO ASSES BACK UP DERE AN DONT DO DAT AGAIN!!!!!!!!"
-
ch 34 gay butt sex in da chamber of secrets
"WHERE WERE U" sed snape 2 some of his detheatters from da future.
"we were down in da pit havin gay butt sex" sed one of da detheatters.
"wut?" sed snape.
"yeah. sum very powerful wiserd clicked his heels an did a little turn an sed "rainbow" an we felt so happy dat we wanted 2 have gay butt sex with eacheother." sed da detheatta
"who did dis?!" sed snape
"dis guy" sed 1 of da detheatters an he turned around. dere wuz josef havin gay butt sex in dat guys ass.
"HOW DID U GET IN DA CHAMBER OF SECRETS" sed harod
"i wuz lookin around da skool 4 sum gay butt sex" sed josef "have u seen any?"
"no i havnt" sed harod evilly
"NOW GO AWAY AN NEVER RETURN" sed snape "AN FORGET DAT YOU EVER WENT INTO DA CHAMBER OF SECRETS"
"chamber of secrets?" sed josef "wuts dat"
"never mind" sed snape "now GO AWAY"
"ok" sed josef. an he did.
--
ch 35 in da slitheryn commin room
moses wuz lookin around da slitherin commen room at all da chillin. in his hand wuz a magik staff dat turned into a snake. den he saw harod an jezebell wakkin out da door wit a shotgun.
"hey hey hey hey" he sed "u kids cant have shotguns in skool"
"its ok mr moses" sed harod "were not gonna hunt students. were gonna go out in da woods an shoot pupies"
"oh well i gess dats alrite den. but if ur out dere an u see dat evil nigger turtle den u had better shoot him 2 deth" sed moses.
"ok" dey sed
den........... A RAINBOW BUST THRU DA WINDOW !!!!!!!1
jezebell got so scared dat she had a baby.
"oh look anodderone" she sed an put it in her bakpack full of babies.
den josef slid down da rainbow. "hey guys were u goin" sed josef "if ur goin 2 da chamber of secrets can i cum?"
"shh" sed jebadiah (1 of josefs many brodders)
"hey look its my many brodders!!!" sed josef "i didnt expect 2 see u guys here!!"
"chamber of sectrets?" sed moses "wuts dat"
"oh its a grate place" sed josef "were dose ppl go 2 hatch evil schemes with snape"
"WUT" sed moses an his staff into a snake. dat scared jezebel so much dat she had anodder baby which she den put into her bakpack. "UR PLOTTIN EVIL TINGS WIT SNAPE"
"yeh" sed josef.
den moses ran towards dem. "u cant go outside" he sed. den jezebell hit him ova da hed wit her sack of babies.
"ow" he sed den fell ova in pain "i gess u kids rly r evil..." den hared poped a cap in his ass. den he he started wrigglin around in pain.
"quik lets get out of here" sed jezebell an jezebell harod an josefs many brodders ran away.
"josef..." sed moses
"yes" he sed
"u were right... here take dis staff an stop dem..." den he fell asleep.
"tanks" sed josef an looked it up an down "i no wut imma do wit dis"
--
ch 36 da gay samariten
josef at da hufflepuff table eattin fruit loops becuz it wuz his favorite cereal bcuz dey reminded him of fruity gay buttholes. he wuz sittin an tinkin about da staff dat moses gave him den some1 sat down beside josef wit a big bowl of fruitloops.
"why hello josef" he sed.
"oh hello bradberry" sed josef. bradberry had a mustash an a fancy monical an a colorful top hat.
"how r u" sed bradberry.
"fabulos" sed josef
"fabulos!" sed bradberry.
den a big muscular man wit a rainbow thong walked past dem.
"oh hey steven" sed josef
"oh hey" sed steven flewing hois gay arms "u look tubled. have u had ur gay buttsex 2day?"
"well i--" sed josef but dey were interuppted by da hed of hufflepuf sittin down.
"hello children" he sed.
"hello mr samariten" all da hufflepuffs sed. but he wasnt da good samartian. he wuz da gay samariten. bcuz when he wuz little he grew u wit da good samaritan da grumpy samaritan da dopey samariten da happy samariten an all da odders.
"HEY FAGGOT" sed someone on da slitherin table. den everyone on da hufflepuff table turned bcuz dey were all gay. "are u talkin 2 me" dey all sed.
"hey!" sed anodder hufflypuff "if dey called us den dey must have sum gay butsex wit dem!"
"HORRAY" sed bradberry. den all da hufflepuffs got up and moved over to da slitherin tabel 4 sum gay buttsex.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed da sltherins. but it wuz too late.
--
raveneagel under reviews sctn .. in resqonse to reviewer who sed 'abuse reported.'
u no wat? oppression reported.
--
ch37 back in da chamber of secrets
"you better watch out" sed snape "next to jesus hes da gratest wiserd dat ever lived."
de were all in da chamber of secrets. jezebell wuz so suprised dat she had a baby. harod looked at it hungrily.
"well tank u" sed josef. snape snapped around suprised.
"HOW DID U GET IN HERE" sed snape
"my friend steven broke a hole in da wall" sed josef.
"who are dey!?" sed snape.
"oh dese are my friends" sed josef "bradberry an steven"
"how do you do" sed bradberry tippin his hat.
"hey hansome" sed steven flexin his gay mussles.
"well were gettin tired of u" sed snape "so were gonna have to kill you"
"dont do dat!" sed josef "just be happy!" den he clicked his heels an did a little turn. "RAINBOW"
"avada kadavra" sed snape and da rainbow died. a tear went down josefs face.
"dats so horrible" he sed
"dont b sad josef" sed steven "lets go have some gay buttsex."
"ok" sed josef an dey went away.
"were gonna have to do someden about dat annoyin son of a bitch" sed snape
"but how" sed jezebell "hes da gratest wiserd since jesus"
"we dont have to worry about esus" sed snape "hes suspended. he wont be back any time soon. but harod.... dis is wut well do..."
ch 38 da atomik vibratin antimagik knife
under his cloak harod had da most powerful antimagik knife ever made. a atomik vibratin antimagik knife. dere wuz 2 big buttcheeks.
"password" it sed
"gay buttsex" sed harod
"DATS CORRECT" sed dat huge ass. den its butt cheeks spread apart 2 reveal da hufflepuff commin room. but da hufflepuff commin room wuz... EGYPT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dere wuz sand everywere an he cud see da penismids (wich is wut dey called da pyrimids back den)
dere were all da huffle puffs havin gay buttsex decorating and doing muikal theater.
den... steven threw his big arms around him.
"hey cutie" he sed "i havent seen u before."
"hey hes probably lookin for sum gay buttsex!!" sed one of da other hufflepuffs
"HORRAY" sed bradberry an all da hufflepuffs ran up to harod 4 sum gay buttsex.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed harod. but it wuz 2 late.
"hey look he has a vibrator!!" sed one of da hufflepuffs pullin his cock out of harods ass. it wuz da atomic vibratin antimagik knife. he switched it on an shoved it up harods ass.
--
ch 39 harods broken butthole
"DEY RAPED MI BUTT HOLE" sed harod. he wuz standin up in da chamba of sectrets cuz he cudnt sit down. his ass wuz in a cast becuz it had been ripped apart by da cocks of hufflepuufs an da atomik vibratin antimagik knife which wuz shoved so far up his butthole dat doktas sed dat dey cud neva find it.
"wut" sed snape "but did u manage to kill josef"
"kill me?" sed josef who wuz standin in da corner of da room wit steven an bradberry.
"hey hansome" sed steven
"i had a FABULOS time yesterday" sed bradberry
"u shud cum by more often" sed josef
harod turned around an put his butt in a corner so dat dey cudnt have buttsex wit him.
"i underestimated you josef!!" sed snape "but 1 day youll regret dis"
"untill dat day can we have butt sex?" sed josef
"4 DA LAST TIME NO" sed snape
"well well just down here in case u change ur mind" dey sed an sat at sum of da desks.
den snape went up to harod an jezebell an josefs many brodders an wispad so dat josef cudnt hear dem.
"we have 2 do someden about dem soon. its obviously not safe to send a man in dere... but... maybe u jezebell...
--
ch 40 josefs not so colorful coat
jezebell wuz hidin in josefs room. it wuz rly dark. den josef came in.
"tank u bradberry. i had a wunderful time" he sed
"fabulos!" sed bradberry.
"fabulos!" sed steven.
den he closed da door. it wuz dark again. den josef stopped.
"whos dere" sed josef
"... butt sex" sed jezebell
"HORRAY" sed josef an jumped in da bed.
.... da night past. an den da sun came up ova eygpt.
"ah" sed josef gettin up "im tired frum all dat gay buttsex." an den he looked ova. it wuz... JEZEBELL!!!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" sed josef. da screem ekhoed across eygpt qan hogwarts.
"wut wuz dat?" sed pumpass pilot sittin in his office.
den jezebell started laffin. she laffed so hard dat she had a baby.
josef jumped up. he wuz lookin horrified. slowly his coat turned from rainbow colored to gray.
"rain cloud..." he sed. an a little rainbow formed above him an started rainin on him.
den... he turned around an rain out of da penismid.
"hey! were r u goin?" sed steven.
"leeve me alone" sed josef
"aww wuts wrong" sed steven "do u want sum gay butt sex?"
"NO" sed josef. den everybody turned around.
"WUT" dey all sed. den dey started wisperin. "josef dont want no gay buttsex..."
"what ever is da matter" sed bradberry.
"JUST LEEVE ME ALONE" sed josef an den he forced himself thru da buttcheeks an ran away.
--
ch 41 da second qart of da qlan
"mission accomplished" sed jezebell.
"good" sed snape. "now all we have to worry about is dat damn turtle"
"i hear hes in da tower of babel" sed harod
"wuts he doin dere" sed snape
"hes goin to da top so dat he can get da wiserd stone" sed jezebell.
"oh" sed vadermort reechin into his poket "u meen... dis?" he held up... DA WISERD STONE!!!!!!
all da dethetters were amased. den dey all started laffin evilly.
"now for da second part of r plan" sed snape.